Miss Samantha Jones

So, I’ve finally gotten into the sex and the city craze. After years and years of saying ‘I wanna watch allllllllllllllllll six seasonssssssssssssssss’. -_- would have made that face to myself. baha.

I can NOT get over Miss Samantha Jones (Public relations-baha). You just HAVE to give it to her. Despite being old, single and horny, she hasn’t given up on men. Although that means hooking up randomly with men and sleeping with them O_o.  Here are some of her unforgettable quotes (awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee!) :

On>Samantha faces a challenge:-she meets a man with a huge penis. So big that she isn’t sure she can make it.
Samantha: You dated Mr. Big. I’m dating Mr. Too Big.

Samantha: Could you shave or something? Blowing you is like getting my teeth flossed.

Samantha: Money is power, sex is power, therefore, getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power.

Samantha: The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. I mean, look what happened with Nixon; no one wanted to f*** him, so he f***ed everyone.

Samantha: If we could perpetually do blowjobs to every guy on earth, we would own the world. And at the same time have our hands free.

On> Samantha giving head to a man with funky tasting spunk.
Samantha: You men have no idea what we’re dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothin’.

On> Starting an all-male brothel industry.
Carrie: We should open one in every block, like Starbucks!
Samantha: Starfucks!

Samantha: F*** me badly once, shame on you. F*** me badly twice, shame on me!

Samantha: I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.

Samantha: Men aren’t that complicated. They’re kind of like plants.

Samantha: I’m a “trisexual”. I’ll try anything once.

On>Upon seeing a firefighter stripper
Samantha: Hello, 911. I’m on fire!

Samantha: Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get.

On> Samantha’s sleeping pattern with men.
Samantha: I don’t have a pattern.
Carrie: In math, randomness is considered a pattern.
Samantha: Yes, and I’m what they call a prime number.

Samantha: Last night I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. I finally had to get dressed, go out and pick up a guy.

Charlotte: Miranda has a son!
Samantha: Just what the world needs: another man.

Samantha: Relationships have been on the decline ever since women came out of the cave, looked around and said, “this isn’t so bad.”

Samantha: I’ll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes, when I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come.

Charlotte: <After the wedding> I finally get to sleep with Trey.
Carrie: Excuse me?
Miranda: You haven’t slept with him yet?
Samantha: Honey, before you buy the car you take it for a test drive!

Samantha: From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is.

Carrie: So are you saying there’s no way you’d go out with a guy who lived with his family?
Samantha: Well… maybe Prince William.

Samantha: If it’s so hard to get pregnant, how do you account for the number of crying children on planes?

Samantha: Don’t play ‘hard to get’ with a man who’s hard to get.

Charlotte: Do you think I’m a whore?
Samantha: Oh, please! If you’re a whore, what does that make me?

Samantha: Vagina weights? Honey, my vagina waits for no man.

Samantha: I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you (her friends). 

Samantha: Men, they may have you on your knees, but you’ve got them by the balls.

Samantha: Women are for friendship, men are for f***ing.

To Men:
This is what you do to us women.
I reckon all men should watch sex and the city just so they can at least try to relate to the females. NB: I said ‘try’.
What would we do without men? More importantly, what do we do WITH men?
-_-

  

 

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~ by Kristen on July 14, 2007.

5 Responses to “Miss Samantha Jones”

  1. Classic!
    I adore her quote bahahah
    Would like to have her as a fren. I’d live so vicariously thru her… sigh

  2. Hahaha, nice entry =) And i love the name of your blog, it’s so you.

    And what do you do with men? Well, i’d settle for the last quote from Samantha. wahahahah =P

  3. 😀

  4. oi! Why ang moh name wan? Who’s Samanthat Jones? I only know bridget jones… Hee hee ….I’m SO EXCITED you have a blog!
    Wow, prayer to the Holy SPirit? THat got me off my seat! Hee hee, God is good!

  5. Samantha Jones from Sex and the City series, dear. That’s the title of my latest entry. well, dont look forward to my blog so much. Im still in denial and I cannot guarantee good entries 😛 baha. miss you!

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